


Detective Roger Davis and the Missing Cookies

by TabiKittyKat



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Detective Roger Davis, idk yet, might be a series of fics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-03
Updated: 2019-01-03
Packaged: 2019-10-03 06:56:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17279228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TabiKittyKat/pseuds/TabiKittyKat
Summary: There's a mystery in the AH Office.An empty box of cookies!There's only one detective that can solve this mystery...Let's hope he can keep his accent straight long enough to do so.





	Detective Roger Davis and the Missing Cookies

_It was a dark and stormy night- er, day. It's about maybe 11 AM right now. And rainy. So it's a bit dark.  
....  
And all was quiet and still in the Achievement Hunter office. We were working on some new videos to put out in the coming weeks. And as I sit here, at my desk, with my Diet Coke can beside me, I knew it was going to be a matter of time before a case broke out._

"AHHH!!" 

_Or a scream. That works, too. I turned from my computer to see Lindsay standing in front of her desk in complete horror and shock. I walked over to her desk and examined the situation at hand, as only a good detective would do. Hmm... an empty package of chocolate chip cookies! Interesting._

_"Ma'am, I would like to ask you a couple questions about the cookies here." I tell her._

_Lindsay looked at me like I had another head on my shoulders._

"Ryan, what the fuck are you doing? What's wrong with your voice?" 

_I scoffed and was taken aback by her words. "Excuse me? I am not Ryan. I'm DeTECTIVE Roger Davis. And I am here to ask you about the scream I've just heard._

"Don't worry, Lindsay. I've made a bet with Ryan earlier today. He has to be the Detective until lunch, or he has to pay for mine." Jeremy smirks from his Spyro-clattered desk. "I should've added that he had to wear a detective outfit, but I think that's gonna be a future package on AHWU." 

Lindsay shrugged and chuckled. "Sure, I'll play along." She turned back to the Detective and began to explain. "Well, I brought in some snacks to munch on while I work, because who doesn't? And I go to the bathroom, I come back and every last fucking cookie in here is gone."

_She picked up the cookie package and shook it, only crumbs falling out. Made me feel so bad for those cookies. Where could they have gone? Who was the cookie thief? Why did the Cookie Monster turn into the Veggie Monster that one time? T-that last one is irrelevant. Anyway, I knew what I had to do. If there was someone stealing food from the office, I think there's only one person that could have done this heinous crime._

_"The Detective is on the case. I'll get those cookies back for you. Maybe Detective Tapp would like to join me." I look at my short and bald companion._

Jeremy just shakes his head. "Nah. I've got shit to do. You're on your own, Detective. Have fun!" He waves as Ryan leaves the main room and walks into the AH Support room, the room where all the amazing editing for videos are done.

_I approach the desk of one shifty Larry. His hair stands on end as he's approached by the famous Detective. I am well-known, after all. I look around his desk and working area for any clues of missing cookies._

_"Ryan, what are you doing? You looking for something?" Larry asked me._

_I shook my head. Again with this 'Ryan' name. Not who I am. How dare ya? "I am DeTECTIVE Roger Davis and I was sent here to find one Matt Bragg. But since you're the first person I saw, I got suspicious and decided to scour the area you work in. Now, have you had any cookies lately?"_

_Larry seemed amused and chuckled for some reason. "Were you playing Left 4 Dead again? Oh God. Anyway, I haven't had cookies. It's too early for cookies, anyway. Maybe Sarah or Steffie can get you more when they get your lunch, but I have no cookies here for you, uh...Roger Davis."_

_I glared at him one last time before deciding that he was completely useless to me and left his desk. I found Matt Bragg typing away at his station. Welp, time for that to stop. I slam my hands on his desk and he jumps up to look at me._

_"Ryan! You scared me! Jesus Christ, what do you want??"_

_I showed him my Detective badge (which was a badge I got from the party store, let's be honest. But, it looked official enough. Don't judge the Detective!) and introduced myself for the umpteenth time today. "I am DeTECTIVE Roger Davis. And Lindsay has found her box of cookies to be completely empty after leaving the office for a bathroom break and returning minutes later. I have reason to believe that the only person I know that could possibly do this is YOU, Matt Bragg! So, fess up! Hand over the goods, or I shall be forced to take action."_

_I show the Bragg a Moonball released from its packaging. This little baby could cause so much damage if thrown around wildly. And I know he didn't want that._

Matt raised his hands defensively. "Whoa, whoa, whoa! Let's calm down now. There's no need to throw moonballs in here. I don't have any cookies, and I didn't take any from Lindsay's desk. I wasn't even in the main room for the past half hour. I was in here the whole time. So, get your facts straight, Detective, because I didn't take shit!" 

_He was getting smart with the Detective. I didn't like that, but I couldn't do anything. I put the moonball away and left in a hurry. If he was that mad about the false accusation, then he couldn't have possibly taken the cookies. Feeling like I haven't gotten anywhere, I trudged back into the main room without a care and without any clues. I thought for sure that Matt Bragg had taken the cookies! But, who else loves food enough to take a whole box of cookies?_

Ryan walked back into the room to find Jeremy and Michael standing next to Ryan's desk, arms crossed and glaring daggers. Lindsay was sitting in her chair, but also looking at Ryan as he entered. 

Jeremy walked up to Ryan with a pep in his step and held out his hand. He spoke in a heavy Boston accent. "Hello there, Detective Roger Davis. I'm Detective Tapp. First name, not important. I'm the other Detective on duty. Nice to meet ya."

_Another Detective? It was the one that was "too busy" to help me earlier. Finally, we'd get this case solved. I accepted the handshake and nodded with approval. "Nice to have another Detective on the team. Are you ready to help me solve this mystery? Apparently, the culprit wasn't the culprit."_

_"So, it wasn't Bragg?"_

_"Nope."_

_"I figured as much. Because, as luck would have it, Tapp has solved the mystery already."_

_I gasped and looked at the man in shock. He looked proud of himself while I stood there dumbfounded. The mystery was solved and I had nothing to do with it?! Unheard of!_

_"Y-you solved the mystery? Without Detective Roger Davis?" I asked._

_Detective Tapp nodded. "I sure have, my friend. If you'll just come right over here, I'll show you how."_

He led Ryan over to his own desk where Michael was waiting. 

"So, Ry- er, Roger Davis. I have some questions for you. You wanna explain to me what the fuck this is?" Michael pointed to Ryan's keyboard which had small crumbs sprinkled around various keys.

_Oh. Gee, I wonder how those got there. Not from the Detective, I'm sure. "Those appear to be cookie crumbs, citizen Michael. The Detective would know those anywhere."_

_Michael looked at Detective Tapp and the short detective gave him the signal to ask more questions._

_"When my wife went to the bathroom, care to explain what you were doing at the time?" he asked me._

_I just shrugged. "I was working, of course. Then after a while, I got a little stiff and got up to stretch my arms and legs. Walked laps around the office for a bit and then sat back down to work. That's all. Who's the Detective here? Me or you? I ask the questions here!"_

_"I'm giving him permission to ask all the questions he wants, Detective. So, bite your tongue and let him continue." Tapp interrupted. For such a little guy, he had the cojones to yell at me like that. I turn back to the angry husband of the person whose cookies were stolen and he asked me one more question._

_"All right. So you got up to stretch and walk around and shit. Did you make any pit stops as you walked? You would need to refuel from all the moving around you were doing, Detective. Did you have any...snacks?" Michael and Jeremy leaned in closer to me in unison. It was creepy._

_I started to get a bit nervous. What were they assuming? I had to retrace my steps. The Detective has a shitty memory._

_"Well, if you must know, I walked around to stretch my legs out, as I've mentioned before. I saw some snacks at a nearby table and I took the liberty of snacking on some before continuing my walk. You should've had them. They were the best chocolate chip cookies I've had in days. Definitely helped me refuel and keep walking." I gave a thumbs up._

_"And where did you get these cookies?" Tapp asked._

_"Right over there." I pointed nonchalantly at Lindsay's desk._

_....Lindsay's desk._

_Oh._

_Shit._

_Busted._

_She took the liberty of flipping me off before walking out of the room again._

_Detective Tapp walked over to her desk and saw a folded up, tiny pocket knife next to where the full box of cookies would be. "Also, this isn't hers. I'm surprised she didn't see this, but Detective Tapp sees all. If I know you well, Roger Davis, you're the one that mostly uses knives. And after recounting the knives in your little knife cup, one was missing. I put 2 and 2 together and I got that you're fucked."_

Michael glared at the guilty Detective. "You stole cookies from my wife! You'd better buy her two packs to make up for it, or you get no kolaches from me and I'll make sure you don't get any, asshole!" Michael poked Ryan in the chest once and then sat in his seat to continue working.

Ryan sighed and put his missing knife back in the cup. Jeremy smiled and gave Ryan a pat on the back.

"You're a great detective, but you suck at covering your tracks. Maybe next time, buddy." Jeremy dropped the accent and dropped a full can of Diet Coke on Ryan's desk before returning to his own.

_So, the mystery was solved. And it turns out that Detective Roger Davis was the cookie thief. But, I couldn't help it! They were so good! And I couldn't stop once I ate one! Curse the cookies and their ability to be super delicious! Ah, well. It's almost lunch time anyway. Soon, I can go back to being my old self again and not worry about solving cases. But, I know the time will come again for Detective Roger Davis to return._

_And when he does, you'd all better beware..._

"Oh my God. Ryan, can you shut the FUCK UP?!" 

_Especially Michael._


End file.
